


What I Stand For

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Confessions, Dinner, M/M, Nostalgia, Secret Crush, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 06:56:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16614080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: At firsts he had blamed it on the fact that he missed France, that he missed the journey and that it had been having to get back to work which had made him feel like that.But he hadn't been able to tell himself that lie too long.





	What I Stand For

**Author's Note:**

> N/A: The ‘baby’ thing translates poorly. It makes sense in Italian, we use it in a wider sense.

It had been a few weeks.

A few weeks, and Yuya couldn’t remember having ever felt worse in his life.

At firsts he had blamed it on the fact that he missed France, that he missed the journey and that it had been having to get back to work which had made him feel like that.

But he hadn't been able to tell himself that lie too long.

Since he had gotten back, he had tried not to be alone too much.

He called Kota or Kei or Daiki, he called whomever was willing to drag him out of his apartment, and every time he walked back inside he always found that now familiar feeling of emptiness waiting for him.

He knew what he missed, even though he didn’t want to admit it openly, and it wasn’t the journey and it wasn’t France.

That night he had gotten back home more tired than usual; not that he had done anything different than usual, they had shot for a magazine and then the BEST had had an interview, but still: he felt exhausted.

He tiredly headed toward the fridge, starting to take off the clothes he had had on the whole day.

He wasn’t particularly hungry, nor there was anything tingling his appetite.

He grabbed a bottle of beer, snorting and closing the door; he took a quick sip and then left it on the table, going to the bedroom to finish getting changed.

He couldn’t take anymore nights like that, but he didn’t know what he should’ve done to feel better, to manage not to think about all he would’ve really liked, but that he couldn’t have.

He was still lost in this kind of unhappy thoughts when he heard the doorbell ringing.

Frowning, he went to get that, wondering who could possibly be at that time; he wasn’t expecting anyone.

When he opened the door and found Chinen in front of him, it took all of his self-control not to start swearing.

He opened his eyes wide, mumbling something unintelligible and then closing his mouth again, forcing a smile.

“Hi, Yuri.” he told him, his voice as neutral as possible. “What are you doing here?”

The younger gave him a more open smile, shrugging and showing him the bags in his hands.

“Hi. I'm sorry I didn’t call before, but I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were going to be late today, so I thought you might’ve liked having dinner together.” he explained, his voice getting lower and lower at the lack of reaction from Yuya. “Wait, did you have plans already? Am I interrupting something? I can leave, it’s not a...”

“No!” the elder stopped him, smiling again and moving from the doorway to let him in. “Come on inside, I was just thinking about what to do for dinner. Your timing is impeccable.” he reassured him, closing the door behind him and waiting for Yuri to have taken his shoes off before heading  toward the living room.

Yuri, instead, went straight to the kitchen, putting the bags down on the table and starting to take out their content. He  turned to look at Yuya, a complicit smile on his face.

“Since you’ve liked fondue so much when we were in Aix-les-Bains, I thought we could try and make it.” he told him. “It took me forever to find everything we need. I think I’ve got it all and I wrote down the recipe. I think we can make it, it doesn’t look too hard.”

Chinen kept talking, telling him where he had found the cheeses and the fondue set, explaining a few steps of the process, but Yuya wasn’t really listening.

He couldn’t help thinking that, as soon as the younger had walked inside, he had felt as if any form of uneasiness he had felt until now had disappeared.

But he already knew it was him, that it was because of Yuri he felt that way, but being forced to face his weakness that way gave him something to think about.

He knew he should’ve put a stop to those thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. The week in France hadn't confused him per se, but the journey had played its part well, and when he had come back he had found out with a certain disappointment how he had grown accustomed to Chinen’s presence, how he missed waking up and finding him in the bed next to his, how he missed to spend the whole day together.

He had always been sure Yuri wasn’t more than a friend; he had been really too young when they had first met, and Yuya had never thought otherwise about their relationship.

When had he grown up, when had Yuya started feeling this way?

He tried to stop thinking about it, he didn’t want to show to Yuri how uncomfortable he was, and he started paying attention to what he was saying and helping him making the fondue.

Nervousness aside, he was glad the younger had thought about that, that he wanted to have dinner together and eat something Yuya had enjoyed so much.

Yuya was sure that, somehow, he was going to reach the end of the night unscathed.

“Yuri, here says that the cheese has to be softened... what are we going to do, we’ll never have dinner if...”

“Already done that. I also cut it, you can put it there to melt, but make sure it doesn’t stick to the saucepan.” he smirked. “Be careful, Yuuyan.”

The elder grimaced, determined to show him he was perfectly capable of not making a disaster.

They kept quiet during the whole time it took them to make dinner, and in the end they managed to sit down at the table at a perfectly reasonable hour.

They looked the fondue satisfied, smiling at each other.

“We’re not so bad, are we?” Yuri said, dipping a cube of bread into the cheese.

“No. When you first told me what you wanted to do, I honestly thought we were going to end up ordering pizza for dinner.” Yuya replied, starting to eat as well.

Fondue wasn’t bad at all for it being the first time they made it, but Yuya was back ruminating on what it meant for Chinen to be there with him right now, and he couldn’t enjoy dinner the way he would’ve liked.

He had managed to get distracted while they cooked because Yuri had made that easy for him, because being together that way felt good, just like when they were in France, as if that feeling of emptiness he had felt those past few weeks was suddenly gone.

But he knew Yuri was going to walk out of his apartment sooner or later, that he was going to leave him alone all over again, and that the process of self-pitying would’ve started again, and he was really dreading it.

He didn’t do it following a careful reasoning, it was as if his body had moved out of its own volition; he stood up, muttering some apologies, and rushed toward the living room.

He stood still in the middle of the room, brushing his hands on his face and through his hair.

He heard the sound of a chair moving and by the corner of his eyes he saw Yuri standing on the doorstep; he was perfectly still, waiting for Yuya to say something first.

“I'm... I'm sorry.” Yuya murmured, without turning to look at him. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I’ll be right back. Just give me a minute to...” he paused, and only then Yuri walked closer, putting a hand on his arm, worried.

“What’s wrong, Yuu?” he asked, frowning.

And there Yuya gave up any pretence, and renounced feigning he was at ease.

“It’s... it’s you, Yuri.” he said, moving away from his touch. When he saw the confused expression on the younger’s face he sighed. “I don’t mean it’s your fault. It’s mine, to tell you the truth.” he took a deep breath, aware he was going to regret anything he would’ve said. But he couldn’t stop now, he could only hope he wasn’t going to do anything to definitely drive Yuri away. “It’s been since we’ve gotten back from France that I haven’t felt good. That I’ve felt... well, alone. I guess.” he frowned. “I miss you, Yuri.”

Chinen opened his eyes wide and tilted his head, trying to elaborate what the elder had just told him.

“You miss me, meaning...?” he asked.

Takaki bit down hard on his lower lip.

“Meaning I wish I was with you. That I want to...” he paused when he saw Yuri smile, a smile which quickly turned into laughter.

“I'm sorry.” Chinen said, unable to stop. It took him a while, then he calmed down and shook his head. “Yuya, god... I know you’ve never been the sharpest tool in the box, but I thought you would’ve at least gotten this.” he went on, stepping toward him. “Why do you think I barged in here without calling first? And to make fondue, no less! And why do you think I’ve always kept spending my time with you, these past few years?” he blushed, suddenly embarrassed. “I'm sorry you’ve been hurting, but I'm more used to it than you.”

It took Yuya a while to understand.

And a little while longer to convince himself that Yuri was telling the truth.

Why should he lie, after all? Why...

Once again, his body reacted on its own. He grabbed the younger’s waist and pulled him closer, then he leant down to kiss him.

Yuri wasn’t a kid anymore, and Yuya wasn’t scared now that he knew he wasn’t the only one feeling something; he wanted to make up for all the time they had spent keeping things from each other.

Yuri kissed him back willingly, bringing his hands to Yuya’s hips and pressing himself against him, searching his mouth and his tongue, and Yuya wondered if he didn’t feel the exact same thing.

Without pulling away from him he picked him up, the younger wrapping his legs around his waist, and like that they managed to reach the bedroom without accidents.

Once there, Yuya moved out of the way the clothes he had put on the bed, letting Yuri go on the mattress.

He allowed himself a few seconds to look at him and smile, happy as he hadn't felt in a long time, then he leant down on him and kissed him again.

The younger’s hands, in the meantime, went looking both for his shirt’s hem and his pants, in a rushed attempt at freeing him from his clothes, and Yuya wasn’t helping.

He liked kissing him too much, and he wanted to enjoy it as long as possible without letting him go, for once aware that he wasn’t building a house of cards, that Yuri was really there, under him, that he wanted Yuya the same way Yuya wanted him.

So he let a few more minutes go by before pulling away, undressing fast and doing the same to him, then he kissed his now naked skin, aroused, feeling the pressing need to take him right that second.

Maybe it was because he was lost in that desire that he let Yuri catch him off guard; the younger sat up and moved on the side, sending Yuya with his back against the mattress and then straddling him and smiling sultrily at him.

“I'm sorry.” the younger told him, not at all sincere, as he took his place in exploring Yuya’s skin with his mouth and tongue, biting him from time to time, moving lower.

When Yuya felt his tongue on his cock he swore between his teeth, clenching his eyes and rolling his head back against the pillow, trying to keep still while Yuri took him in his mouth, moving his tongue and teasing.

Yuya brought a hand through his hair, keeping him close without applying too much strength, trying to enjoy every single detail of those lips wrapped around his cock, that tongue caressing him, those hands clenched on his hips.

After a few minutes he pulled him away, even though the younger didn’t seem too pleased about it.

“Yuri... Yuri, that’s enough.” he murmured, unwillingly, groaning for the lack of contact when Chinen finally pulled up.

Yuri didn’t say a word and laid down next to him; Yuya moved faster than he would’ve if he hadn't been so damn aroused at this point. He brushed his lips, making him open them and staring at him as he ran his tongue between the phalanxes, wetting them, still wanting to tease him.

Then the elder moved between his legs and started preparing him, studying Yuri’s expression as he tried not to hurt him; once every sign of discomfort had disappeared, he decided it had been enough.

He pushed inside of him slowly, carefully; it was harder than he would’ve thought, he felt the warmth like a vice around him, and his instinct told him to push all in one go inside of it, but somehow he managed to restrain himself.

He waited a while and then he started moving faster, Yuri’s moans spurring him on.

He grabbed his hips to pull him closer as he kept pushing inside of him, kissing him once again, never tired of those lips.

The pace grew faster, and Yuya felt already too close to the edge; the heat coming from Yuri’s body, that voice calling his name were way too arousing for him to resist.

He wrapped his hand around Yuri’s cock, stroked it fast and less than a minute later Yuri was coming.

Yuya burned in his mind that face twisted my pleasure, his body tensing, his sound of pure satisfaction, finding it way better than he could’ve possibly imagined.

He thrust inside of him again and again, and a short while later he came as well, spilling inside the younger’s body and muffling a scream on his neck.

When he felt in control of himself again he collapsed on the mattress next to him, panting and smiling at the same time. He just couldn’t help it.

Yuri was next to him in the same condition; his eyes were closed, he looked tired and happy, and Yuya couldn’t ask for anything better.

“We would’ve saved a lot of time if we had just made things clear sooner, right?” he heard Yuri ask after a few minutes, when they had both recovered.

Yuya shrugged and sighed.

“I know, baby. But we’re here now, aren't we? Even though...” he chuckled. “Even though it took a six thousand miles trip to France.”

Chinen smiled and then he kept quiet for a few moments, lost in thought.

“I never liked you calling me ‘baby’, you know?” he said in the end, turning to look at him.

“And now?” Yuya asked with a smile, brushing the contour of his face with his fingertips.

Yuri chuckled.

“Now it’s different, isn't it?”

Yuya nodded and pulled him closer, hugging him and holding him as tight as he could.

“I think I fell for you. Baby.” he murmured in his ear, not at all willing to letting him go.

He knew he had wasted too long leaving too many things untold, but now he had nothing else to fear, not with Yuri in his arms.

From there on, he hoped he wasn’t going to do anything wrong.

For good measure, he wasn’t going to let go of him ever again.


End file.
